Friday, September 5, 2008

My Path Of Life

I have had a lot of trials in my life. There have been many that brought me to my knees. But there is a beauty in hindsight and as I have had a spell of sleepless nights trying to figure out how I am going to survive my son in 2nd grade, hindsight has been kind to me. I believe my life has been littered with trials in order to put me on a specific path. When I have been in my deepest down points, too exhausted with grief and stress to go another day, I have literally handed my all to the Lord and said, "Put me where I need to be, say what I need to say." At the time it was all a blur. I did things, said things, went places, and thought things. But it was as if I was a Marionette Puppet, my strings being in the hands of the Lord.

Without those trials, I would have never put my feet on the path I follow today. I would not have the knowledge, confidence, clear mind, drive, passion, or means to walk the path I walk everyday. The path I walk is a busy, social path. The path I am on has many opportunities for me to serve other people. Person after person until I feel like I can give no more, then I remember, "I was once in their shoes, I was once in need...someone served me and I grew and moved on."

The Lord has a plan for me and at times I can not see the next turn. But when the turn hits me and the path gets rocky I always have the means to take it and continue on. I have the knowledge to open doors for my son that I did not have 5 years ago. I have the knowledge to open doors for my other children that I did not have 2 years ago. The Holy Ghost guides me, teaches me, and whispers to me on a daily basis. Though at times I do not feel worthy of it, I am grateful that He is always with me.

I know the path I am on will only get steeper and bumpier. I am sure I will have more trials that again drop me to my knees and take the breath out of me. But knowing I am watched and directed by a Heavenly Father that is directing me down a path to help my family and others, I will walk my path with open arms, looking to the future, when I can look back and use that beautiful hindsight to see the progress I have made.