Friday, September 5, 2008

My Path Of Life

I have had a lot of trials in my life. There have been many that brought me to my knees. But there is a beauty in hindsight and as I have had a spell of sleepless nights trying to figure out how I am going to survive my son in 2nd grade, hindsight has been kind to me. I believe my life has been littered with trials in order to put me on a specific path. When I have been in my deepest down points, too exhausted with grief and stress to go another day, I have literally handed my all to the Lord and said, "Put me where I need to be, say what I need to say." At the time it was all a blur. I did things, said things, went places, and thought things. But it was as if I was a Marionette Puppet, my strings being in the hands of the Lord.

Without those trials, I would have never put my feet on the path I follow today. I would not have the knowledge, confidence, clear mind, drive, passion, or means to walk the path I walk everyday. The path I walk is a busy, social path. The path I am on has many opportunities for me to serve other people. Person after person until I feel like I can give no more, then I remember, "I was once in their shoes, I was once in need...someone served me and I grew and moved on."

The Lord has a plan for me and at times I can not see the next turn. But when the turn hits me and the path gets rocky I always have the means to take it and continue on. I have the knowledge to open doors for my son that I did not have 5 years ago. I have the knowledge to open doors for my other children that I did not have 2 years ago. The Holy Ghost guides me, teaches me, and whispers to me on a daily basis. Though at times I do not feel worthy of it, I am grateful that He is always with me.

I know the path I am on will only get steeper and bumpier. I am sure I will have more trials that again drop me to my knees and take the breath out of me. But knowing I am watched and directed by a Heavenly Father that is directing me down a path to help my family and others, I will walk my path with open arms, looking to the future, when I can look back and use that beautiful hindsight to see the progress I have made.

3 comments:

Jess said...

Stefie I love you so much. you are an amazing person...woman, mother, friend. thanks for sharing your path of life and helping me realize how important our trials are.

Kristin said...

Hey girl! Thank you for posting that for all to see! That was so well-put and I, at this point in my life, appreciate everything you said! Thanks for the lifting ME up!

Mike, Jules, Gabee and Izee said...

Sterfie... What can I say but I adore your stinkin' guts!! I needed to read your post today.. It is so easy to start gettin' down and feel a bit sorry for oneself, but, ya know. We do have our Father in Heaven to rely on. I forget that sometimes...

On Jen Woodruffs blog, she wrote this.... "it doesn't say, 'and it came to stay'... but the scriptures say repeatedly, 'and it came to pass"... What would Hayden do with any other mom?? You are choice.. You are the perfect mother for him... And I admire your commitment to your son...

Love ya, honey... MWAH